An Old Post Resurrected - WTF is a blog? And other things that annoy me

I recently re-found this old Myspace blog of Phil's and couldn't keep my face straight as I read it. I felt his rambling blog on his hatred of blogs (go figure) should be re-posted here to enlighten and humour a wider audience. There'll be more from P over the coming months if I have my way (which I rarely do).

Thursday, January 11, 2008
WTF is a blog? And other things that annoy me
Current mood:Discontent
Category: News and Politics

After reading hundreds of blogs posted by acquaintances I still have not discovered to the true meaning of a blog. What is a blog? I remember hearing on the radio one dismal afternoon, that a blog was some sort of online diary and that you filled it in everyday. Well quite clearly not, the hordes of myspace users dont use a blog in this way but instead prefer to use blogs as promotional tools for their own stupidity and insist on people leaving them "Kudos" and whatever the goodamn that is. Blogs annoy me intensely. Almost to the point of explosion.
Another thing that irritates me is Jeremy Kyle: "No, Look at me, look at me, LOOK AT ME!" Guess what Jeremy? Guess?? I dont want to look at you! How do you like those apples!! Speaking of apples, when did apples get grades and different types? No one gave a damn 10 years ago when an apple was an apple and not a "Granny Smith" or a "Jersey Fresh".
"Here, do you want one of my apples?"
"No thanks I only eat McIntosh apples"
EH??
On the topic of food, have you ever eaten a Goodfellas pizza? Those round pieces of dough that are somehow passed as pizzas? Jesus H Christ. If you served that shit to real gangsters you'd get whacked big time.

As I sit here typing this rant, I cant help but wonder why I'm doing it and not revising for something that could very well shape my future into something horrible and dark. The prospect of going to University looms ever closer and it got me wondering... why does everyone go to University when studies show that a large amount of students cannot find employment after graduating? Isn't that just a waste of three years? And then I realised that I, myself had applied to University, and that I, myself will probably be wasting three years of my life studying something I dont give a toss about to get myself a job at a petrol station to pay off my student loans.

Other questions that I ask myself:

1. Why can't I be a millionaire?
2. Why is the lottery always won by old people who just save the money or by complete retards who have never seen a car in their life?
3. Why do people set their profile to private? How can I get a glimpse into your interests and tastes if your profile is a private jobby?
4. Why aren't the good bands signed?
5. Why is good food bad for you?
6. Why is James Blunt allowed to make music?
7. Why cant I find a hat with stars all over it in Hull?
8. Why does Microsoft suck at everything?
9. Why does no one play F1 2002 online anymore?
10. What is the point of General studies?
11. Who invented the BBC?
12. What ever happened to Wisp chocolate bars?
13. Why is American Cream Soda so underated?
14. Where can I find a pair of Dunks with triangles all over them?
15. Why aren't white power bands arrested and/or disbanded for inciting racial hate?
16. Why didn't I apply to Hull University?
17. Why isn't there a H&M in Hull?
18. Why is Max Moseley still president of the FIA?
19. Who invented the Crisp?
20. Will anyone ever be able to afford HD-DVD players?
21. Does anyone actually sell coloured laundry pens?
22. How many people die every second?
23. How close can a shave get before you know somethings gone wrong?
24. Why has Hollywood recently been flooded with gay remakes of old films?
25. How many people actually enjoy what they're doing with their lives?
26. How many tablespoons of sugar on cereal is normal?
27. Is Phil Loades really weird or is it Urban Legend?
28. Could a new letter be added to the alphabet with the potential to redefine the English language?
29. Why isn't there any black swimmers in the Olympics?
30. Why aren't I in the Olympics?
31. What does it take to become an Olympic champion?
32. What is the point of becoming Olympic champion?
33. Why isn't F1 made compulsory viewing throughout the UK?
34. Why isn't Tom Hanks immortalised in gold?
35. What's wrong with Tom Cruise's face?
36. Does 4-Head really work?
37. How does Magicool work?
38. Why is a Peter Levy t-shirt £15?
39. How is Past Times still in business?
40. Can people actually use 1000 free texts in a month?
41. Why are raves illegal?
42. Why isn't Ralf Schumacher as good as Michael Schumacher?
43. How can people eat Shredded Wheat without any sugar on them?
44. Why do I get Sky 3 but not Sky 2?
45. Why are Snack-a-Jacks called Snack-a-Jacks?
46. Why do Walkers only fill half the bag?
47. What is the point of a sign saying, this house is sold?
48. Why is the whole topic of Women's Suffrage so unbelievably boring?
49. Where does it go when you pee on a plane?
50. Where does it go when you pee on a train?
51. What is the point of television on Mobile Phones?
52. Why is the UK Music Hall of Fame such a joke?
53. What is the point of Unnecessary greeting cards? eg: "For my wife... on mothers day"
54. Why does white wine taste so Godawful?
55. How does Jeremy Clarkson know everything?
56. Why do people get addicted to drugs?
57. Why don't people just download their music instead of buying it?
58. Why are so many people allergic to peanuts?
59. Where did The Strokes go?
60. Why does Lynx only last 4 hours?
61. Why aren't buses free if everyone's obssessed with cutting down on global warming?
62. How can T.K.Maxx have such low prices?
63. How can people stand eating Burger King fries?
64. Why is Lego so seriously addictive?
65. Why is my clock so loud? "TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK"
66. How many questions can you write in 1 hour?
67. What time is it at the North Pole?
68. Why don't penguins feet freeze?
69. How does a Limpet attach itself to a whale?
70. How come, when you tickle yourself, it doesn't work?
71. How does anti-dandruff shampoo work?
72. Why does Helium make your voice go funny?
73. Why is Christmas called Christmas?
74. How many asylum seekers can you get in/on an 18 wheeler?
75. Why is Star Wars Episode 1 so poor?
76. Why was Johnny Mann picked on so much?
77. How many minutes would it take to drown if you lied face down into a puddle?
78. Why is the sky blue on a clear day?
Finally
79. How many James Bond movies will there be before no one gives a shit?

Thank you for reading my "Blog" and leave some answers for me if have you the time.

Currently listening:
Takk...
By Sigur Ros
Release date: 13 September, 2005